Saturday, June 9, 2012


I woke up this morning feeling so emotional about everything I am doing. I went out on the balcony and just started to cry while having my coffee.
I've been working on my millinery project for 2 years now and I am still waiting on a dream.
Some people know when to give up and accept defeat, I guess I am not one of those people, but sometimes it takes its toll.  I'm very tired and my body is weak, and on days like these its hard to stay positive.

When you believe in something so bad and feel that you are doing something that can make a difference, I guess its easy to think that once people know about it they will feel the same and want to help.  That you tell your story and people will empathize and share your cause.
But reality is hard. Sometimes you can't even get to the people you would want to reach and maybe you have but then your cause seems so small in a world full of issues.

Its quite disheartening.

A social enterprise is hard work, and has so much more of an emotional investment.  Its not easy training people from zero to something, keep them motivated and try to market it and make it grow at the same time.  Its a difficult process, much more than running a regular business and can be very frustrating. I think if I learned to delegate then my life would be so much easier, but I guess because everything is so close to my heart its very hard for me.

But for now I'm going to keep at keeping on and cross my fingers for a miracle.


Chevy thunder, Chevy chevy thunder

Two posts in a row? I must be really depressed.  ;)

I just got home from Camden where I went to see some friends at a gig. Scant Regard (our friend Will) played, and my friends all went to see their friend Sara's band Rooster.

She has the longest legs in the world.  I think my life would be a lot better if I had her legs.

I was meant to go see Spector today as well in Stoke Newington, but I had to leave the Camden gig to go home halfway through Sara's set because I wasn't feeling well. I quite like Spector and I've never seen them live, so I am pretty gutted, but at this point I would just be to dazed to even appreciate it.

Anyway I shall leave you with a Spector song.

Good night.


Friday, June 8, 2012

Life Update

Hello everyone,
I know, I've been really rubbish with this whole blog thing.

I had a wonderful time in Cannes for 2 weeks during the Film Festival for my friend Leslie's birthday, and upon arrival in London I went straight into museum/theater/dance mode - a private view of Admiral Nelson's clothes at the National Maritime Museum which I organized for Adam and Rob (when I was told I could do a dig of the NMM gems, I couldn't think of anyone else who would appreciate it more), Kusama and Hirst at the Tate, The Sunshine Boys (a wonderful post birthday treat from my friend Mark), and a night at the Southbank Centre to see a dance performance with music by Reuben's sister Semay.

I love Kusama and will probably get murdered by people for saying this but Damien Hirst just doesn't do it for me. I bought the exhibition catalogue as I wanted to read more about him, maybe if I knew more of what was in his head I would appreciate it more.

As usual I am drawn to my blog because I have been feeling very low this past week. We all have our down days and I was very lonely this past week.  I am lucky though because when I get upset it drives me to work harder, it helps me focus on the things I want to do, to keep me busy.  I guess we need sadness in life to keep us sane, if that makes sense.

It was a long Jubilee weekend and I was really sad because I wanted to go down to Battersea Park for the festivities and to see the boats but I didn't get to book a ticket. My friend Ben was really sweet and sent me to a picnic with his friends on Saturday while he was away for the weekend, and I had such a great time. It was such a magical place with such wonderful people. 


Sunday Billie and I went to Apple Cart to see Adam play, where we met up with Karlie and Barnzley. Weather was rubbish and didn't help my mood, I wanted cheesy jubilee fun and it was probably the worst festival I've ever been to.  

Monday was spent at the George and Dragon, but not after a quick visit to Time For Tea to say hello to Johnny and Maddy.

I haven't been sleeping much as I have just over 2 weeks left in the UK, and yesterday I began a sculpture course.  There are so many things I would like to learn, my mom always says I am addicted to learning and it is true, I don't think I will ever stop wanting to absorb everything around me.

Today I made this, and tomorrow I will make the mould to cast it in.

It was my first time ever to work in clay, and i really enjoyed it.

Anyway I've got to catch up on a thousand emails, but I saw this today on the Active Resistance website and I thought I would share it with you.

If the World Were a Village of 100 People

If we could reduce the world's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

The village would have 61 Asians, 13 Africans, 12 Europeans, 9 Latin Americans, and 5 from the USA and Canada

50 would be male, 50 would be female

75 would be non-white; 25 white

67 would be non-Christian; 33 would be Christian

80 would live in substandard housing

16 would be unable to read or write

50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation

33 would be without access to a safe water supply

39 would lack access to improved sanitation

24 would not have any electricity (And of the 76 that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)

8 people would have access to the Internet

1 would have a college education

1 would have HIV

2 would be near birth; 1 near death

5 would control 32% of the entire world's wealth; all 5 would be US citizens

48 would live on less than US$ 2 a day

20 would live on less than US$ 1 a day

Goodnight all, hope you all have a brilliant weekend xx